When my first child was born, my husband and I spent long hours crunching numbers in the living room. I didn’t know how to afford to be a stay at home mom, but I knew I didn’t want to go back to work.
Unfortunately, we couldn’t get the numbers to line up. Despite finding free baby clothes, saving money on baby stuff and making lots of postpartum freezer meals, it wasn’t even close. There were too many bills and too little money to go without my income as a teacher. We were crushed, but decided not to give up. Thus, the “one year plan” was born.
Twelve months after those grueling number-crunch sessions, I walked out of work for the last time. And I’ve been home ever since!
I know how many other moms are dying to stay home, but don’t know how to afford it. Or daycare is too expensive, but they also can’t survive on one income. While I can’t solve society-level problems like affordable childcare and inflation on this website, I can offer every tool in my arsenal.
Today, I’m sharing everything that’s worked for me and other successful stay at home moms. That way, you can make whatever decision works best for you and your family. So let’s talk strategy. (Feel free to skip ahead to the section that most interests you!)
- Step 1: Assess your current finances
- Step 2: Create a “one income budget”
- Step 3: Adjust spending expectations & prioritize
- Step 4: Increase household income
- Step 5: Make a “one year plan”
How to Afford Being a Stay at Home Mom
Step 1: Assess Your Current Finances
First, you’ll need to list all your current expenses. It helps to have a copy of last month’s bank account and credit card statements handy.
This is not just a list of all your bills. This is a list of everything you ACTUALLY spent money on last month. Count up every box of diapers, Amazon order, and quick run into the convenience store. If you don’t have complete data, that’s ok! Use one of my free printable expense trackers over the next month to get the most accurate picture of your finances.
Make sure you include expenses like funding an emergency fund (if you don’t have one yet) or sinking funds!
Next, you’ll need to list all current household income minus your full time job. Collect child support? Earn interest? Royalties from a hit song? Count all of that. Just leave out any potential side-hustle ideas you’re thinking about for now.
Step 2: Create a “One Income Budget”
This step requires cutting items from the budget which you’d only spend if you were working. Think about things like:
- Increased gas budget or other transit costs
- Professional wardrobe
- Childcare costs (make sure you get current prices by checking with local daycares!)
- More frequent meals eaten out
- Regular coffee runs or convenience store snacks
- Travel expenses
- Professional convenience services like a house cleaner, grocery delivery, or personal shoppers
- Random expenses like office Secret Santa or pooling money for someone’s retirement gift
Now check to see if just by doing that, your family’s income will be greater than your expenses. If yes, congrats! You can stop reading.
No? Don’t worry, nearly everybody falls into this camp. Just note exactly how much of a difference there is between what you’d be making and what you’d be spending minus “working expenses.” (Is it $200? $2,000?) Then move to the next step.
Step 3: Adjust spending expectations & prioritize
I could call this step “cut spending,” but it’s more about choosing what you care most about and prioritizing that. Your goal in this step is to reduce the gap between your income and your expenses as much as possible and still enjoy being a stay at home mom. Basically, it’s time to give frugal living a try.
These might not be lifestyle choices you would make for any other reason. But if the choice is between your current habits and affording to be a stay at home mom, you can decide your preferences. If you’re not comfortable cutting your spending this much, you can try jumping straight to step 4 (though it’ll be harder).
When it comes to trimming the budget, there are basically three ways to prioritize your spending: spending less (while getting the same thing), changing what you buy, or completely cutting an expense. Here are some ideas for all three.
And all of the links below are to other articles I’ve written if you want to go on a deeper dive of money-saving hacks!
Spend less
Ok, so you’ve already removed work-related expenses. Did you realize that being a stay at home mom gives you more time to focus on cutting other costs? Here are some low-impact examples:
- Reduce debt.
- Comparison shop your insurance providers.
- Help plan social events (so you can make sure some activities with old, working friends are still in your budget!)
- Use coupons or rebate apps like Ibotta.
- Downsize your car.
- Switch to buying cheaper diapers.
Reducing debt, in my opinion, is the game changer. I 100% couldn’t afford to be a stay at home mom if our old debt was still hanging around. Do you know how much easier it is to live on one income when we don’t have $500 in car payments a month? Or student loans? Or credit card bills? We worked our tails off during our ‘one year plan’ to throw every last dollar at debt, and it paid off.
There are, of course, more complicated ways to spend less, including moving to a lower cost-of-living area. However, I recognize this is more of a ‘last resort’ option, and most people can’t actually consider it.
Change what you buy
Next, you can also choose to pick up some new skills and change what and how you buy. You meet the same needs as before (eating, socializing, etc), but you find different, cheaper ways to meet them.
- Keep a price book to compare prices and save money on groceries without coupons.
- Meal plan.
- Cook cheap meals at home.
- Make more homemade presents.
- Shop at thrift stores.
- Try growing your own fruits & vegetables.
Completely cut expenses
- Cut unnecessary spending (aka stop buying stuff you don’t need).
- Stop eating out at restaurants and getting fast food.
- Reduce how often you pamper yourself (cut & colors, mani/pedis, spa days, etc).
- Take fewer, shorter, or less exotic vacations.
- Sell unwanted possessions. (This only works once, so this is best aimed at a “debt free” goal, not monthly expense management.)
- Develop newer, cheaper hobbies.
After all this, try to calculate how much closer you are to your goal. (Pro tip: doing a combination of food-related tips like eating out less and cooking at home can– by themselves– save you at least 25% on grocery costs. Use the USDA Cost of Food reports to help you estimate.)
Step 4: Increase household income
If cutting costs can’t get you over the finish line (or you aren’t willing to cut so much), that’s ok! Now let’s look at increasing your family income to make up the difference.
First, look at whether your spouse can earn more. Can they ask for a raise? Go for a promotion? Work overtime? Are they willing to job-hop to another company for a significant bump in pay? Finally, though it’s more complicated, would it be in your family’s interest to have them switch careers entirely?
Alternatively, you could look at bringing in some side-hustle money to help afford being a stay at home mom. It needs to be something flexible, legit, likely at-home, and worth the hours you’ll have to spend focusing less on your kid(s).
We’ve all heard of SAHMs doing at-home child care, but here are some part-time ideas you may not have heard before to help fill small gaps between income and expenses:
- Freelance writer (I’ve been doing this via Upwork for years now).
- Google search engine evaluator.
- Crafting & selling (on Etsy or at local fairs).
- Become a virtual assistant (Flexjobs is a great place to look for gigs).
- Donating plasma.
- Doing online surveys (Rakuten Insight is my favorite).
- Baking desserts for small parties like birthdays, baby showers, and retirements.
- Freelance graphic design.
- Virtual bookkeeper/accountant (I’ve seen plenty of people needing this work on platforms like Fiverr).
- Photography.
- Teaching virtual music lessons.
- Become an online tutor.
- Social media manager.
Step 5: Make a “One Year Plan”
When I was going through this process, we realized that no matter how much we cut costs and increased our income, it wouldn’t work. We still had a $1500 gap between my husband’s income and our expenses.
So we created our “one year plan.” It involved cutting out the rest of our debt, having my husband get more certifications so he’d qualify for a promotion, and getting me settled into a side gig. I worked as much overtime as I could with a baby, too. It was a frustrating year in many ways, but there was always a very clear goal and ending.
The result at the end of our year? We had a more sustainable and relaxed family life. Instead of me trying to work a full time job (mom-ing two toddlers) and a part time job (writing), I only had to write about 5 hours a week to bridge the small income gap.
If you can’t make your numbers work now, see if a one-year plan will work for your family. It might be the difference that helps you stay home!
There you go! That, in five steps, is how to afford being a stay at home mom. If you’d like other money tips for moms, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter below so you won’t miss a post!